Why Am I Not in Mackinaw?

JEI Admin

Melanie Piana

Josh headshot

 

To Answer Your Question – Why Am I Not in Mackinaw

By Joshua Elling

So, I’d like to say that I’m writing this from the porch of the Grand Hotel on Mackinac Island, but instead I’m watching traffic slowly move through our construction zone on East Jefferson.

Once again, I did not make it to the Detroit Regional Chamber Mackinac Policy conference.

I know, I know. You’re all saying, “But Josh, you’re such an influential, handsome and erudite young man. You should be with your peers, charting the future course of our region, cooled by the breezes off the straits that tousle your thick brown hair!”

Alas, we here at JEI are still toiling in the corridor while our peers are fashioning a better tomorrow out of fudge.

But I have my top ten reasons – some true, some half true, some silly – why I am not at the 2015 Mackinac Policy Conference #MPC15

1. With everyone out of town, it’s the perfect chance to seize control of city government. I declare year one of the new JEI imperium!

2. Those protected bike lanes along East Jefferson Avenue aren’t going to build themselves.

3. A big time funder once told me that any non-profit who attends the Mackinac Policy Conference gets its funding cut the next year.

4. My crippling fear of men named Sandy.

5. Mayor Duggan asked that I keep an eye on the #ManoogianMansion and water his geraniums.

6. Conference registration fees equal one-half month worth of Clean Downtown services along East Jefferson.

7. With all the talk about school reform in the D, L. Brooks Patterson invited me over to talk about the impact of the Milliken v. Bradley decision.

8. I once went on a five-day fudge-fueled bender that resulted in me being banned for life from Mackinac Island.

9. No one sponsored me, again.

10. Knight Foundation is helping us bring Gil Penalosa of 8-80s Cities here from June 22-26th for a week of awesome events around innovative public spaces, inclusive transit and more. It’s a big deal and we’re spending like 30 hours a day on it. So enjoy the fudge and come back home to our Move Detroit event in June!